Dear Top Non-Celeb on Twitter

Dear Top Non-Celeb on Twitter

By: Shelly Kramer
October 2, 2009

Thank you very much for your DM asking me to help promote your:  _______________ (fill in the blank here – radio show, webinar, eBook, personal appearance, etc.).  Here’s a news flash:  I don’t know you.  Have you ever spoken to me (okay, and by this you know, dear reader, that I mean sending me an @message).  Have you ever, just once, commented on a link, blog post or a tweet or anything else that I have ever said, written, done?  Guess what — the answer to all of the preceding is a resounding “no.”

I mean so little to you that you’ve never even once messaged me. Never. Even. Once.

But yet, when you have something that you want to promote, you don’t hesitate to send me a DM with all the details about YOU, your celebrity (or non-celebrity status) an you have the absolute audacity to ask me to help promote you.  What planet do you live on?  Seriously.

I am, normally,  a pretty nice person. I love people, love engaging with people and go out of my way on a regular basis to support people that I believe in.  I can be counted on to regularly lend whatever “influence” that I have in the social media realm to people, causes or events that I believe in or support.  I love helping people – whether it’s spreading the word about a particular accomplishment or event or just lending an ear when needed. Get that?  I love people.  And I am a pretty doggone good friend.

But here’s the rub. We are not friends. You may follow me and, for some odd reason, I may follow you back (perhaps a mistake on my part, but sometimes I follow people back just so that I can keep an eye on them – and that’s another story).  But we are not friends. We have NEVER spoken. We do not “know” one another in any sense of the word.

Why then, would you feel it appropriate to send me a private message asking for me to help you promote something that you are doing for profit. In fact, I’m not sure why you would ask me to do anything for you … remember  … you don’t even know me.

I think that all too often people forget that the word “social” is a very big part of the phrase “social mediums.”  And, when something is called a social medium, it does not mean that it exists solely as a place for you to promote, sell your wares and take advantage of others.  If fact, according to the folks at Random House, “social” means:

1. pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations: a social club.
2. seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious.
3. of, pertaining to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event.
4. living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings

So, once again, Mr. Top Guru Expert Muckety-Muck Jedi Social Media Maven, thanks, but no thanks.  Maybe, just maybe, if you invested half as much energy into actually being “social” in the social media realm as you do scouring the Internet for pithy quotes and jokes from dead comedians which you clearly program into a super duper cool Twitter client like TweetLater so that you don’t actually have to spend “real” time in front of your computer interacting with people, we might be friends (and could this sentence be any longer?). But, as of now, we are not.  We are not friends.  So please don’t ask me any more to help promote you and your events.  Instead, why don’t you try interacting. You might find you actually like it. And me. You might even actually like me. Because I am real. And, frankly, I might like you, too.  If you only gave it a chance.

What do you think?

  • AMEN. For the record, Shelly Kramer rocks. But I’d never send her lame sh_t like that – she’d kick my….

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  • Omg, am laughing so hard, ya goofball! Thanks for the read, A 🙂

  • Not to miss the forest for the trees, but I love that you went to our dear friends at Random House for some supporting evidence.

  • This is the first time I’ve been to your blog and I’m busting up. This happens to me all the time too. I just delete them. That and the dam Mafia requests are getting out of hand…still!!

  • Pam McCoy

    You are great! I love your tenacity and your drive to conquer all spammers! You go!

  • Thank you Ms. Kramer – boy that must have felt good! I don’t know if intrusions such as those described in your post will ever cease, but I DO know that you (and others) will do their part in battling these trollers. I hereby join your cause.

  • Kevin Boulas

    Geez, Shelly – you could have just told me

    Oh, right – you said Top Social Networker type. I’m just a lame ass dude that talks shit on the social networks, but I agree with you. Societies are built on shared interests and mutual interdependence. I feel like there is a group of people who feel that they’ve got this whole thing figured out, it’s hard-wired for them, and so “social” goes out the door.

    Doesn’t mean they aren’t friends – they’re just the type of friends who are always there when they need you.


  • Well, they are the source for … my friend in wordsmithishness.

  • Am so glad you enjoyed! I delete many, too. But this particular one just got me at the wrong moment on the wrong day. Gah!

  • Thanks Real Girl. Appreciate the read – and the comment 🙂

  • Thanks Steve. You are correct – it felt terrific. And welcome to the cause, doggone glad to have you 🙂

  • Thanks Kevin. The thing is, nobody has this “thing” figured out, and the ones who claim they do are the first ones to doubt. At least, that’s my humble opinion. Goodness, it’s a new medium – for all of us, and we are all learning, on a daily basis. But one thing we all SHOULD know is good manners. And this loser didn’t have any. Kind of like walking up to a stranger in a bar and saying “hey, wanna go jump in the sack?” Oh, lookit what you did – you got me started all over again.

    Seriously, thanks for not only reading, but for taking time to comment. Means a lot.

  • Mona McAnnally Overton

    If I knew how to retweet, this post would be one I would be repeating. It is worthy of being reread.

  • Ok, even I must giggle when reading this –

    Heart ya Shelly!


    Your Partner in Crime

  • I love following your war against spammers, its entertaining AND useful.

    Thankfully being a smalltime twitterer, I don’t get as much of the spam as most people seem to do, but I definitely dislike it. If I don’t know you, and have never talked to you, what makes you think I would be a good ambassador for you? I could be a huge jerk….do you really want me helping you promote your product? I think not.

    Of course, I’m a nice guy…but I’ll ask YOU if I want to promote you.

  • Now if someone sends a DM to promote their blog I will show them this blog post of v3im 😉

    I actually get pissed off when people who just post a link via DM. They Don’t even add a Please! WTH. Oh yea this post is surely a slap on their face.

    Bookmarked this post 😉

  • Ha. Thanks sweets. Those are words of high praise from you, my friend. I don’t mind at all promoting things that come from people I know, like, enjoy, respect, etc., but from a stranger – or from someone who only “cares” about me when they have something to promote – seems just bad form. So many people have taken this post as a post about spam – and that’s not it at all. It’s really about manners. Or the complete and total lack thereof that some people display.

  • CLASSIC! Well-stated – we couldn’t agree more.

    This makes the weekly top 10 posted in our Bullpen at 1680PR.

  • That’s right. It really is about manners. Most people would never do what they do as a spammer in real life. They would get no results at all, or if they got any, they would be completely useless because of how random their sample was.

  • Make YOU giggle. Now that’s an accomplishment! Glad you enjoyed.

  • Thanks Ken. It’s an honor to be on the same side of hte fence as you guys on this issue. Thx for comments.

  • I think that’s the thing that’s so interesting about social mediums versus real life. People often do all kinds of things in an online realm that they would never do in real life. Some of that’s good, but nost often, it is really, really bad. People forget that in today’s world of ultimate transparency, being real is really all that matters. Because, if you are not, it will become obvious – very quickly. Love it that you’ve read once and are still thinking on the topic – a blog writer’s greatest compliment. Have a great weekend!

  • Michelle @mmangen

    I’m in too….I almost said something in public stream yesterday about the darn affiliate and mafia wars….coming in at a close 2nd for me is the darn “check out this site for the top web hosting comparisons” – have I even mentioned I am interested in any of those things?

    Let me think…nope, sure haven’t!

    Let’s get ’em!

  • Where’s your gravatar, girlie?? I don’t think you should be afraid of making comments in the public stream – it is the only way to really let the idiots doing it that it is not cool. Glad to see you here, favorite VA of all time, thanks for reading!

  • You definitely are my twin – and not the evil one. I am enraptured with your ability to nail these idiots to the wall so eloquently and humorously. I want to join your club. I will wave the picket signs and march through the depths of DM derelicts at your side. In the meantime, I bow humbly at your feet in Wayne’s World fashion and joyfully proclaim my unworthiness. You rock! They don’t stand a chance.

  • WOW! Today I blew a gasket over being spammed! They are driving me crazy but at least I know most agree that they are rude. Thank you for your “just in time” blog post and all those great remarks!

  • Thanks BM. Am proud to be your twin, honey. And no bowing at feet is required – that way you won’t see that I really, really need a pedicure. But side-by-side, count me in. Thanks for the read.

  • Thanks Kimba – don’t let the spammers get ya down. Ultimately, they’ll find another playground (sooner rather than later, I hope).

  • Such a right on post! Shelly, you seem to be able to speak the words and feel the heartbeat of the community like no other! I really believe that what you are saying/doing will make a difference for all of us. Thank you!!

  • Thanks Joyce — what kind words you always have, for me and so many others. Speaking of the heartbeat of the community – well, methinks you do a fine job of that your own self. Thanks my friend.

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  • well put. Shelly. anyone who DMs me a sales pitch is summarily plonked and blocked. Some people forget the “social” part of the term “social media”.

  • Thx Brian. Love your bio – your sense of humor made me laugh. And I am putting you on notice: henceforth, I shall be plagiarizing “plonked and blocked” at will – great phrase! Thx for the read and for the laugh.

  • cheri

    Hi there Shelly, we really do not know each other. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I found what you had written intriguing. I do not know what you do for a living, but I appreciate your honesty and passion with which you delivered your message. Thank you. It began my morning well.:) I so appreciate a person who is honest and does not wear a “mask”. Transparacny is something I try to teach my children to be. In being our true selves, it allows others to drop their “masks” and become their true selves, as well.

    Most likely, we will never speak nor cross paths. Just wanted you to know that there are some of us on twitter who are here just because we want to connect with other people. It is funny, you have many asking favors of you. I rarely hear from anyone on twitter, although I try to engage others daily. Funny “twitter” world. I am invisible, you sound quite “visibly used” by others.

    At any rate, bless you and best wishes for a wonderful future. I chose to believe that our best days are always ahead of us. It is how I keep going 🙂

    Well, my little girl turns 13 today, so off to plan a special day for her!

    Kindest Regards,
    Cheri Shames

  • hey shelly,
    i think what you have started here is a “revolt” against these people…you have all the real people on social networkings’ support…we have to take this revolt forward!!

  • I hope I have started a revolt my friend, because they stink. Thanks for the read!

  • Hi Cheri. I’m glad you ended up here, however the route you took that brought you. The thing about Twitter or other social mediums is that it’s relatively easy to find out what someone does for a living, simply by going to their Twitter bio or to the link that they provide to their website, blog, etc., so I encourage you to do some experimenting in that regard – you’ll no doubt run across some really amazing people. And, even better, if you engage with them (which means sending them an @message) or simply join a conversation that is going on, you’ll quickly find yourself making many new friends – from all over the world. And I, too, am one of those people who uses Twitter to connect with people. I also use it to learn, share, laugh and make new friends – on pretty much a daily basis. So don’t count me out – if you make a habit of talking with me, I’ll definitely talk back. And am always interested in another terrific friend. Happy birthday to your little one. That’s a magical age! Today is my mother-in-law’s birthday as well.

  • Yes!!!! Loved it – this should become part of the Twitter 101 reading! Especially the part on using Tweet later and alike. Social media is just that social – you don't go to a party and say hi but I am leaving now – so here is a series of mindless quotes you can read out every hour just so you think that I am still here.

    Or do you think that you would be invited back to a party if all you talked about was your product or company or gave out inane quotes.

    People like people who listen, engage, ask questions, have interesting stories (content) and share other peoples stories- Social Media in my opinion is the same.

    You Rock Shelley!

  • ShellyKramer

    Thanks Cam. I completely agree with you and appreciate you taking time to read and share. My thought is that if we keep talking about it enough, the morons who insist on automating something that should be done in real time will, perhaps, some day, get it 🙂 You rock, too!!

  • Thank god. Nobody cares about you. And the faster people realize this, the faster we can all cut the crap and actually get stuff done.

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  • Deb Dobson

    Shelly, love this, love you. Great post. I'm offline most of today with some projects, but had to read this and respond. I sooooo agree.

  • First of all, you rock. I'm glad @Alysson has retweeted your stuff so I could learn of it. Secondly this would be perfect if it would fit within the 140 character limit DM to send back. I would actually consider reading or retweeting whatever they needed IF a relationship was established. Following and following back isn't a relationship, it isn't even beginning a relationship. That starts when a response or unspammy DM from both parties occurs.

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